Looking to boost your confidence and charm? Here are some of the best self esteem books ever written.
Self-Esteem is perhaps the biggest factor in determining our happiness. If we aren’t happy with who we are, then this unhappiness manifests in every area of our lives.
Luckily the self-help genre has produced some excellent guidebooks for understanding self-esteem and coming up with strategies to develop a healthy sense of self.
Here are 5 best sellers to help you shed your negative self-image and learn to love yourself.
Will I Ever be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride
“Will I Ever Be Good Enough?” discusses how growing up with a narcissistic mother is often the root of a woman’s self-esteem issues in adulthood.
Karyl McBride used twenty years of experience as a psychotherapist specializing in women’s issues to write this comprehensive guidebook. She conducted hundreds of interviews with women from all walks of life to discover the common threads in their relationships with their narcissistic mothers.
McBride structures the book into three parts.
Part 1, titled “Recognizing the Problem”, defines maternal narcissism and highlights which self-esteem issues are triggered by a narcissistic mother. The opening chapters discuss the reader’s emotional burden in a comforting and motherly tone to make the reader comfortable with taking the advice found later in the book.
Part 2 is titled “How Narcissistic Mothering Affects Your Entire Life”. This section depicts two standard archetypes of daughters of narcissistic mothers; the self-sabotage daughter and the high-achiever daughter. It also discusses how the daughter’s unrequited love towards her mother can cause her to seek love in adulthood to cover up deeper emotional problems.
Part 3, titled ” Ending the Legacy”, outlines practical strategies for overcoming these self-esteem issues. It involves developing a healthy self-image and giving yourself credit for your successes, no matter how small.
Mcbride’s motherly and nurturing tone are what makes “Will I ever Be Good Enough?” such an effective tool combating the neglect suffered by the reader at the hands of her narcissistic mother.
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown
“The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown defines the concept of Wholehearted living and gives her readers a practical guide to developing a healthy sense of self-worth.
Brene Brown uses her expertise in areas like shame and authenticity to deconstruct why we attach our self-worth to outside forces. She structures the book into ten “guideposts” on how to cultivate the characteristics of a wholehearted lifestyle.
The following are Brene Brown’s ten guideposts to transform your self-image.
- Cultivate authenticity by letting go of what others think
- Cultivate self-compassion by letting go of perfectionism
- Cultivate a resilient spirit by letting go of numbness and powerlessness
- Cultivate gratitude and joy by letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark
- Cultivate intuition and faith by letting go of the need for certainty
- Cultivate creativity by letting go of comparison
- Cultivate play and rest by letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
- Cultivate calm and stillness by letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle
- Cultivate meaningful work by letting go of self-doubt
- Cultivate laughter and fun by letting go of the need to be cool and always in control
Each guidepost has a dedicated chapter that outlines strategies to navigate each guidepost successfully. This structure, coupled with Brown’s easy-to-digest tone, is why “The Gifts of Imperfection” is so effective.
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns
“Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy” By David Burns outlines scientifically proven strategies for curing mood disorders like anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem without medication.
David Burns uses his background in eminent Psychology to dive into how faulty thought patterns are the root cause of such mood disorders. His claims are backed up by solid scholarly research and packaged in a language that is easy to digest.
Burns breaks his book down into seven parts.
The first part introduces the reader to the different mood disorders and provides the reader the means to diagnose each disorder.
The second part gives the reader practical applications for mood therapy, which include handling guilt, responding to criticism, raising self-worth through productivity, and handling anger.
Part three and four are dedicated to personal growth and prevention of mood disorders. Burns starts with showing how bad thought patterns are the cause of all mood disorders. He discusses common causes such as the need for approval, perfectionism, and attaching love to self-esteem.
The rest of the book is Burns discussing personal anecdotes that show how he uses the advice he gives in his daily life.
Burns’ knack for taking complex theories and breaking them down for the common person is why “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy” has helped millions.
The Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Build Confidence and Achieve Your Goals by Lisa M. Schab
“The Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens” by Lisa M. Schab is an activity-based self-help book designed to help teens develop all the characteristics of a healthy self-image. Lisa Schab uses her experience as a social worker to provide proven methods for developing self-esteem used by her clients.
The book is divided into 40 different activities. Each activity contains an introduction that either explains a theory or provides an anecdote showing how the activity has helped other people.
Several activities deal with sorting out the messages, both internal and external, that affect a teenager’s self-esteem. Other activities provide methods to develop self-worth by discovering your likes, dislikes, dreams, beliefs, and your passions.
The final 14 activities each relate to one of the core characteristics of healthy self-esteem. These characteristics are:
- Managing feelings
- Tolerating discomfort
- Positive thoughts
- Positive decisions
- Facing challenges head on
- Realistic goals
- Relationship with a higher power
Although this book was designed with teens in mind, the tips in this book can help anyone with low self-esteem. The sheer amount of activities proven to develop self-esteem make “The Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens” a great read for teens and parents of teens alike.
The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn Schiraldi
“The Self-Esteem Workbook” by Glenn Schiraldi highlights concepts like positive self-talk, visualization, and goal-setting as important parts for building healthy self-esteem.
Glenn Schiraldi uses his doctorate in Psychology to explain academic theories on self-esteem in a way where the reader can easily apply the information to their lives.
The book is divided into two parts.
The first part, titled “Understanding Self-Esteem”, explains what self-esteem is, how it develops, and the importance of self-esteem for happiness.
The second part is divided into the three different factors that make up our self-esteem.
The first factor is “the reality of unconditional human worth”. Schiraldi explains unconditional human worth and then provides activities on defeating and replacing negative thoughts.
The second factor deals with experiencing unconditional love. Most people with low self-esteem feel as if no one could ever love them. Schiraldi notes this comes from not being able to love ourselves first. This section gives the reader ways to love themselves unconditionally and use this self-love to make themselves more attractive to others.
The final factor is called “The Active Side of Love: Growing”. This factor gives readers practical ways to grow through things like self-love and accepting your flaws.
Schiraldi’s easy to understand structure is a big reason why “The Self-Esteem Workbook” has sold over 500,000 copies. It’s a good choice for anyone looking to learn how to love themselves.
These 5 best sellers each tackle self-esteem in their own unique and effective way. No matter which one you choose, you are sure to find valuable information that is easily applicable to your daily life.